the year of moon ☾

Hey my dear internet friend! I was watching netflix in a very comfy place when I saw this one scene two people building a bed together which reminded me of something, which made me happy which got me this urge to come over here with you guys to do the annual “thank you for this year” -note.

I don’t want to make this too long post and therefore I will keep this short for you guys- and for myself of course. As any other year this was also a year of growing. On my way to new year’s parties I got an electric shock from a curling iron thingie, which blacked out completely my new apartment and I didn’t get the electric back and nobody could help me. I have been really trying to be less dramatic person lately but I was undressed, make-up-free with unfinished hair in a hurry crying (a bit over reacting never hurt nobody :-D) in my dark apartment and that is pretty good way to summarize my whole year of 2018. I am so glad that 2k18 year’s uber is here and she is ready to go, because THANK YOU NEXT.

I don’t know why. but these past days, I want to say weeks, have made me so smily and grateful for all the souls that are around me. I don’t know about you guys, but my year was fullfilled with some bloody good moments- especially the ones that does not maybe feel good in the situation, but you notice later on you will remember them for years. I have faced the reality that I am very priviledged to have beautiful people around me. Here are some moments I shared with them a.k.a the highlights of the year;

  • the 1.1.2018 was my favorite day of the year. I was staying the whole day in kingsize bed ordering food from wolt, watching black mirror and taking a bath. It was the very best day of my life, beside then one where I was eating pizza in a bath tub. That one was good as well.
  • I went to Marbella and Rodos which were both great.
  • coming closer to already existing friends and letting them see the fragile side of me which I have been covering past 24 years.
  • getting better know to Peña. Literally that creature has taught so much stuff to me.
  • falling in love.
  • moving my stuff to my new apartment. I was nervous and all, and my friend was carrying all the stuff for me. We were chatting all the way through and eventhough I thought it will be a massive downer the whole night, I really had a good time.
  • me confessing to my dear one how important part our friendships is my life and literally having to stop like three times because I was balling so much. I had kept it inside of me like two weeks and I never wanted to say it out loud, but then I got my courage and I don’t know what happened it was confusing moment for both of us and I started crying again thinking about the moment and how lucky I am and now to the next point
  • me seeing Post Malone. If you didn’t know I went to see him live last summer……… I be tyou didn’t know because I NEVER mention it. LoL. I also got to be in one video which has massive amount of views for a video in Estonian youtube channel hahhahah.
  • I took my friend first time to the techno parties. It was epic, but that one you knew already
  • one Sunday morning I went to party with my friends to the rooftop straight when I got out of the bed in the morning. One of my favorite days prolly for my whole entire life.
  • also my first, proper techno parties.
  • going to the adventure park in the summer time
  • oh boy, I also graduated! that’s something. But more something is my great professors who deserves a raise. He was the absolute best and most supportive professor I have ever met. I hope this gets to him! he deserves to know how great he is.
  • one night when I was drinking Turkish hot liquid (this sounds sktechy but I swear it was really tasty, I just don’t know how to put it actually now I do, a traditional Turskih drink, thank you) with my friend and we were chatting long night.
  • being able to do projects with the people really make me laugh every single day. Very grateful about that.
  • painting + streaming my painting
  • Christmas + seeing all my old friends that I haven’t seen in years!

I quite can not remember if I promised something last year. I am pretty sure I promised to be kinder to other people and to me and honestly, I think I did that. But with next year I want to make a fresh promise. and that promise is to keep doing the things I love utterly, to continue being kind and have more fun. To go towards the people who treat me nicely and make me feel good about my life and myself and give the same energy to those people who do that to me. I also made a mood board which I am not eager to share with you guys, but let’s say heart wise I will go all in, I try not to react in every situation immediately, I promise my best to love other people as unconditionally as possible, upgrade my levels, leave everything that makes me miserable even if it hurts, treat myself and travel some nice place etc. Now repeat after me.

The year of 2019 will be amazing.


Happy new year and I hope you spent it with the ones you love and you enjoyed the changing of the year (and the mood) the way you want it, whether it was between the sheets reading a book you fancy, or you being in a parties where you drank a (twenty) class of champagne.

I love you all.
Thank you to those, my dearest internet friends who never judge me as who I am & are always on this journey of growing with me.
I love you guys.

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